Ahh, we've got to love the idiosyncrasies of our media. One of the hit shows on NBC (hit for whom, I'm not exactly sure), "America's Got Talent" is going to now be a live show, with its host, Jerry Springer.

I didn't even know that Springer was the host of this show. I was all ready to write an article about how crazy, or hill-billy this show might turn out being. Instead of people dancing and doing back flips, women could now come on the show and recall all of the babies she had (and if Maury became a guest host, they could discuss how many fathers were involved). Mothers and daughters could come on the show with husbands and boyfriends and brothers and show how strong they are by running around and trying to beat each other up for cheating on each other with another member of their family.

But I digress. Apparently the "news" of this topic is that Springer is coming back to host the show live. Maybe he will bring his bouncer back so that he can have the type of guests he was used to having.

Favre loves the media spotlight so much, that he has informed us all that he has a cracked rib. Now, not only is he the starting quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings, but he is also his own doctor.

On ESPN, or should I say, TFN (The Favre Network), Favre said, "he hasn’t received an official diagnosis but that taking a deep breath caused him some discomfort."

Maybe those are just guilt pains from being such a drama queen. But I doubt it. Maybe it's because you are ancient and keep coming back to play football. There are a many linebackers and other 300 pounders in the NFL who are hoping to chance that "cracked rib" into something broken or shattered. There might even be some players on his own team who feel that way.

Honestly, I think that Favre is so consumed with being in the spotlight that he might have made this up. Who knows what is going through this guy's mind, surely I don't. But according to the article, no one on the team knew about this cracked rib and he wasn't on the injury list either. So either Favre wanted the attention, or maybe ESPN (TFN) had nothing to report on and slipped him a few extra bucks to make some more ruckus.

P.S. going along with the rest of the posts I have been doing recently, I have added a video clip for your enjoyment. Funny, yet tedious, but then again, so is Favre.

I'm sure in time this story will appear on one of the many "When stupid people do stuff" shows.

A woman jumped a fence of the Polar Bear section of a Berlin zoo, during feeding time.

A couple of things should strike you right away by looking at that sentence. 1: jumped a fence. 2: feeding time. I'm wondering if this woman was trying an unusual way of suicide. Unlucky for her (if that was her original goal) because she has survived, though in critical condition. The unidentified woman was bitten "several times" by a polar bear, and jumped into the moat to get away from the carnivorous beasts. Rescue workers eventually got her out, but the woman continued to be attacked as they tried to get her out of the water.

Who in their right mind would do this? I mean, she might have watched a lot of Animal Planet shows where people help polar bear cubs grow up and they get attached, but none of those people were stupid enough to jump a fence. They still have no idea why she jumped the fence in the first place. If you are a really morbid and inhumane being, you can go here to actually watch the video of this woman getting attacked. You can let me know how that played out.

As if this hasn't already received enough media attention, but I just can't help myself. A Colorodo vegan, Kelly Coffman-Lee, wanted to show off how much she loved tofu on her gas-guzzling SUV.

She put in a request for a license plate that would read "ILVTOFU," which was to read as "I love tofu." While this is all well and good in theory, on paper it just didn't "sit well" with the Department of Motor Vehicles. They felt as though the letters could be interpreted as inappropriate or profane. I can't say I disagree, since when I first saw the image, I saw "I LV TO FU" before I saw "I LV TOFU."

A shame it was denied, though. Those stuck in traffic behind her will have a bit less to laugh about.

I wish I had more witty things to say about it, but the story in itself just blows me away.

Normally, I could care less about something like this, unless a Buffalo Bills player was put on the cover of the new Madden NFL video game. Everyone believes that there's some curse that goes along with being on this cover, and I don't doubt it. Though, then again, it may just be a "curse" set on the public's mind because they now will pay more attention to that player. Anyway, I care because the article about it at MJD's Shutdown Corner is hysterical.

The two who are supposedly going to share the cover of the new Madden game are (drum roll please) Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polamalu. According to this article at Yahoo! Sports, "It would mark the first time that the two have shared a cover since they appeared together on the October 2007 cover of 'We Wear Our Hair Like Pretty Girls Monthly.'" Furthermore, "And it would all play very nicely into the hot new feature in Madden this year, 'Let's Brush Each Other's Hair Mode.'"

But enough with the hair jokes. It's sad that there really isn't much going on in the football news that I chose this story to report on. But a lot of people talk about the Madden curse, so why not. I was thinking, maybe there should be a vote for who should be on the cover of Madden. I mean, why not vote for the most popular bad guy in football? It would be one non-violent way to hope that someone goes down to the Madden curse. Why, I'll even begin and nominate Tom Brady to be on the cover of this year's Madden. Gisele can be on it too, I'm sure they could give her some fashionable Patriot's outfit. Or should could be a cheerleader in the background. Either way, it would be nice to get Brady wiped out for another entire season. But getting back to the point, I'm sure there are a lot of fans who, when they find out about their star player being on the cover of Madden, A: freak out, and B: buy the game. It would be even funnier if NFL players were the only ones allowed to vote for the person who makes the cover. Then we'd really see who hates who. The Madden player of the year could actually be Madden's bitch... (i.e. picture... sorry Pat). Maybe Madden reveals the poster child for injury and shame. Or maybe the shame is for the people who spend all their time playing the game...

I lied. ShamPow!

Continuing with the jail theme here on the Unsound Mind...


Well, apparently it's official: Madoff is going to plead guilty (FINALLY) and he could be facing up to 150 years in jail. This comes after Madoff's lawyer said that Madoff planned to plead guilty without a plea deal. Damn straight he doesn't get a plea deal! What would he need a plea deal for? I thought he worked by himself to rip off everyone and their mother, who would he tell on? Himself? There are people that want him dead right now, forget about going to jail. Maybe he's ready to plead guilty to get out of danger's way... at least those threatening him with his life.

You know what I think judges should do just to piss off scumbags like Madoff? When it's time for sentencing, and it's obvious that these people are guilty, the judge should just tell Madoff that his prison sentence will end one day after his death.

I think that would be absolutely great. I mean 150 years sounds good too, but the man is already old, I'm not sure he has 20 years left, especially once he gets to jail. So the judge should just be able to proclaim: "you are eligible for parole the day after you die." It keeps it short and sweet and really get under the convicted person's skin.

That's just my thought on this whole prison thing. If you want to read more, visit here.

But I have another idea. To save money, maybe all of these convicted felons should be shipped off to Antarctica and left there. No over crowding in jails, no overspending of tax payers' money, etc. Just keep the dangerous ones until the last shipment because we all saw what happened in Con Air and that would just totally suck if that happened again.

Anyway, bye bye Bernie!

After being pulled over for speeding, an 18-year-old from Louisiana was found to not be wearing his seat belt. When the officers ran his license, it was suspended. However, it doesn't end there. Next, the officers found a "marijuana cigarette," which gave them even more of an incentive to continue investigating. After looking through the rest of the car, they found $27,000 worth of stolen goods. And all of this took place in a stolen vehicle. What's worse? He had a passenger. A dog. Which was also stolen.

And somehow the news story ends with, "Detectives were unsure if the suspect remained in jail Friday." Really? I wish I could commit that many crimes and not spend the night in jail.

So, how many crimes can YOU commit at once? This guy is a murder and a rape short of epic.

And no, there's no single picture that could do this justice (pun!), so I'll give you a picture of handcuffs. And not the kinky fun ones. Although, what handcuffs aren't kinky and fun?

You can find the full story here.

The picture to the right accompanied the Headline:

"Why some women go back to their abusers"

Kidding. Please don't. We could, however, do without the consistent death threats.

Thousands upon thousands of threats have been sent directly to Nadya Suleman ("Octomom"), her now 14 children, her doctor, and her volunteer PR representative via phone calls/voicemails, e-mails, and letters.

While I don't mind antagonizing quite possibly the worst mom on the planet, and definitely don't mind others publically doing the same, I don't fully understand the death threats. I can understand the anger stemming from the events, because I'm angry too, but how will killing the single mother benefit the kids? The doctor was just doing his job (albeit a bit poorly), the PR representative is just assisting her through the media (she was not being paid, and has since resigned), and the kids haven't done anything wrong, so threatening them is just outrageous. While yes, we're all raising them with our tax dollars at this point, we'd be doing it indefinitely if you kill Octomom and put the 14 children into foster care. In my opinion, it's better to have a crazy lady as a mom than no mom at all.

Yeah, she's a terrible American, and I'm embarassed she's a citizen here, but you're all idiots. We should start sending you death threats, instead.

So what do Americans do when something goes wrong? We blame Canada.

Poor Canada. How can Americans stay in America when we have Canada to the north? If their weather wasn't so frigidly cold, I would move up there. Free health care and no Republicans. Sounds pretty damn good to me.

Anyway, to get back on track, America has yet again blamed Canada for another incident that happened on our shores.

Everyone knows about Flight 1549. It's almost the same as TWA Flight 800, except the end result is much different. The plane that landed in the Hudson River between York City and New Jersey could not make it to any airports because a flock of birds took out an engine, or both engines, depending on who you talk to.

So what type of birds were they? None other than Canadian Geese.


(Full story here)

The German Chancellor gets it. Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone gets it. Even some of the archbishops get it. But the Pope doesn't get it.

In the last couple of weeks, the Catholic Church has been having its own little drama escapades with the Pope. The German Pope, Pope Benedict, allowed a Holocaust denier back into his posse at the Vatican. Uproar did in fact arise after this idiotic welcome back party ensued with big hats and even bigger imbeciles.

So the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, basically called the Pope and said, in so many words, that enough was enough and to kick the old man out already. However, Pope Benedict decided to stay with his decision of letting Bishop Richard Williamson stay, even though he's obviously mentally inadequate. I mean, he flat out denies that over 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. He stated,

"believe that the historical evidence is strongly against -- is hugely against -- 6 million Jews having been deliberately gassed in gas chambers as a deliberate policy of Adolf Hitler," Williamson said recently in an interview with a Swedish television station, which also appeared on various Web sites after its broadcast. "I believe there were no gas chambers."

He went on to say this: "If I find this proof, then I will correct myself," he said. "But that will require some time."

Okay so there are a couple of things in these statements that I have beef with. For example, numero uno: why would so many people believe that all these Jews died at the hands of Adolf Hitler if it didn't happen? Deniers versus believers is a very drastic number. Does he think Jews made it up? Did a group of Jews from Germany get together and say, "Oh you know what we should do this year? We should totally fake out the world by saying a whole bunch of us died because that schmuck Hitler was an evil bastard. Meanwhile, we'll hide everyone out in Russia." No. I don' think so.

Second, his statement about finding proof. A.) He will never correct himself because he doesn't want to. B.) What MORE does he want? Hey Bishop? Got off your lazy ass and go to Auschwitz. I think that's enough proof for you. Or check out some of the photos that were taken by Allies when they reached concentration camps. There is, believe it or not, some gas chambers there. So unless you would prefer a time machine so you can go back into time and witness this massacre personally, it's not going to take any time at all.

So the good news is, after all of this, the Vatican wants him to recant or go away quietly. Pope Benedict hasn't actually been the leader of this movement, but I think there are enough bishops and archbishops and whoever else lives there that doesn't want bad publicity, and might actually think that Williamson is a scumbag.

What is interesting is that this Bishop lived in Argentina (a place where Nazi's ran to in order to bypass punishment) and that the Pope was in a Nazi group as a child. I don't care how many people tell me that he was not in this group willingly, something rubbed off on him. And I'm not going to change my mind until I find some proof. And that will require some time.

Yep. You read that right. Though this will be a short post (or will try to be anyway), the main topic is about an NFL player and weed, marijuana, whatever you want to call it. Apparently the Oakland Raiders' running back Justin Fargas let some rapper rap about weed at his house. In a music video. That Fargas had a guest appearance in.

According the rapper himself, Yukmouth (which, wtf kind of name is that?) attested that Fargas "doesn't get down," apparently meaning that the Raiders' running back doesn't use weed. I find that hard to believe that this NFL player doesn't use the product, yet he would let his house be the location of a weed-infested music video with a rapper who apparently only raps about this illegal product and how much he loves it. That's right, for those of you who don't actually know, being in possession of marijuana is illegal. So if I was Fargas, and I wasn't "down" with weed, I wouldn't let people stage an entire weed music video in my house. Or guest star in it either.

Maybe this is just what the Raiders need. Maybe Mary J will help the team win a few extra games. Probably not but whatever they are doing now isn't helping very much. Or maybe it's because Yukmouth is rapping about weed at Fargas' house that the Raiders aren't doing very well.

The best part about this whole story (which can be found here) is one of the comments that was made by a fellow reader. This is what he says:

"How come they picked Justin Fargas? Ricky Williams wasn't available?"

Priceless.