Although I was only going to write one post a day, I can't help but getting a head start on my next blog. My friend Samantha just sent me a hysterical article relating to the Palin clan up in good ole' small town Wasilla, Alaska. This time Entertainment Tonight receives all of the credit for this story: http://www.etonline.com/news/2008/12/69065/index.html

Apparently the Redneck News just keeps getting better and better for the Palin clan, at least for those who couldn't stand her or her white trash family. Instead of relating to Sarah directly, it involves her knocked up daughter Bristol, soon (but not soon enough)-to-be son-in-law Levi, and his mother, Sherry L. Johnston. According to ET, Bristol's future mother-in-law Johnston was arrested as a result from an "undercover drug investigation -- and she was charged with six counts of misconduct involving a controlled substance."

Wow. Well, then again, what is there to do in Wasilla? It did used to be the Meth capital of the USA, or the world, I can't remember which. Unless it still is. I cannot imagine if this story had come out after McCain and Palin were elected as Prez and V.P. (then again I can't imagine that pair being in office, but I digress). I mean, forcing your daughter into having a child out of wedlock, and then forcing her into marriage with a hockey player with an IQ of -5 is one thing. But how could she explain this situation away? By making drugs legal in Alaska? Now instead of just buying guns, wedding dresses and booze at the local store, meth and crack would also be sold too. Shoot up and then have a shotgun wedding! Maybe Bristol's will be first to try it.

Anyway, the news just keeps getting better and better with the Palin clan. I'm waiting for Palin to pop out a baby and name it Zamboni, and to have Trig and Willow knock over the main bank in Wasilla.

I just hope that Mrs. Johnston has a fantastic Christmas celebration in jail. Maybe all of the family will come together to celebrate their redneck-dom. Happy Holidays Rednecks!

"STUART, Fla. (AP) - A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turning off his classmates' computers. According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using." - AP, 11/24/08; (Full Story)

In high school, I recall several instances in which students would fight, and receive detention, or threaten an instructor or even vandalize school property, and be suspended for a week or two. Never, at any point in my academic career, was a student scolded, let alone penalized, for a normal bodily function. Despite its intentionality, you'd imagine any other instructor would have, at most, escorted the disruptive student to the Principal's office, and perhaps have them sent home for the day or week after receiving a healthy dose of after-school detention. But no, not in Stuart Florida. They'll immediately resort to the police.

Yes, it's gross, and yes, it's definitely disruptive, but was there no alternative method to dealing with the situation? Are there some facts of this story that we're missing? Did the kid commit these "heinous" crimes while holding the class hostage with automatic weaponry, or perhaps some incredibly complex explosive device? Was he wielding a lighter while threateningly expelling those methane gases? Was he somehow endangering the welfare of the other students? No. He was farting. Perhaps it was the student "shut[ting] off some computers other students were using" that was the last straw. But, really, why did the only reasonable method the teacher could possibly devise involve the police? Is this too many questions for one paragraph?

If I recall correctly, it's a criminal act to call in phony crimes. While I really am quite surprised that the police were contacted in this instance, I'm even more surprised the police willingly went and arrested the kid. At least this 13-year-old will go down as a legend to his peers, as he even managed to make national headline news. Though, it was likely the ridiculous nature of this whole scenario that caused it to become a headline story in the AP news wire anyway.

Nevertheless, I find it simultaneously depressing and hilarious that this was the definitive course of action. Apparently in Stuart Florida, "Flatulence doesn't pay."