An Ode to the Eldery Driver
Posted by Uhgii in drivers, elderly, ode, old, road rage
"BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. (AP) - An elderly woman in Palm Beach County drove her car into a man on a scooter[...]" - AP, 1/17/09; (Full Story)
The elderly strike again! It seems that no one is safe when one is behind on the wheel of an automobile. I've heard countless horror stories from friends and family, and saw many more on the news. It almost seems like a daily occurance (and I'm sure it is). But, this story doesn't just end with the scooter being struck. Nope... it ends at a hair salon.
Apparently after hitting a man on a scooter (who had the right away), and having him land on her windshield, Louise Davidson, 77, decided it best to continue on her journey to get a haircut. I wish I could say the man remained on her windshield the remainder of the ride, as it would make for a fantastic story, but alas, he rolled off, suffering minor injuries before Davidson took off. Her car was spotted later, and she was sporting a fancy new 'do (or at least I'm assuming)!
When the first thing an elderly driver thinks after hitting someone, especially after the person is flung onto their windshield, is to continue on with their daily errands, their license should be revoked, and they should be locked up in a nursing home. And no, I don't hate the elderly, I fear them behind the wheel.
When the first thing an elderly driver thinks after hitting someone, especially after the person is flung onto their windshield, is to continue on with their daily errands, their license should be revoked, and they should be locked up in a nursing home. And no, I don't hate the elderly, I fear them behind the wheel.
But with fear comes respect. So this is an ode, of sorts, to the elderly driver. Without you, we'd have to worry even more about overpopulation. Who else will slay our youth on the road when drugs and alcohol fail? Who else will back out of their driveway onto a busy road without looking, and hit a young man, forcing him to the other lane into oncoming traffic? Who else will loyally go twenty under any given speed limit in a one-lane road, and encourage further road rage? Who else will keep the streets busy on a Sunday morning, and ensure traffic lasts as painfully long as possible? It's okay, since you've retired, no one else wants to go the speed limit, either. We clearly have all the time in the world. Why rush?
Oh, elderly drivers... how else could a little old lady strike fear into the hearts of brave, courageous men while en route to the grocery store or hair salon? (If you haven't noticed yet, I thoroughly enjoy stereotypes.)
Despite the ode, however, I'd like to put forth an effort to encourage the people of the law and DMVs across the nation to consider, just for a moment, enacting a law mandating the re-testing of those drivers over a certain age. Although, where would be the fun in that? And how on earth would they get around!? Clearly public transportation is a myth, existing only in the land of make-believe and the minds of the imaginitive youth. Which is likely what's driving (yay pun!) the elderly to slaughter them.
Coming next? Perhaps an ode to sarcasm. This post is just dripping with it, assuming sarcasm is a liquid at room temperature.
Oh, elderly drivers... how else could a little old lady strike fear into the hearts of brave, courageous men while en route to the grocery store or hair salon? (If you haven't noticed yet, I thoroughly enjoy stereotypes.)
Despite the ode, however, I'd like to put forth an effort to encourage the people of the law and DMVs across the nation to consider, just for a moment, enacting a law mandating the re-testing of those drivers over a certain age. Although, where would be the fun in that? And how on earth would they get around!? Clearly public transportation is a myth, existing only in the land of make-believe and the minds of the imaginitive youth. Which is likely what's driving (yay pun!) the elderly to slaughter them.
Coming next? Perhaps an ode to sarcasm. This post is just dripping with it, assuming sarcasm is a liquid at room temperature.
